Game Review Rangers lose 4-1

Hey groove cats and hip chicks it’s me e3 and I’m about to lay some serious fury on yo azzes.

Momma said there’d be days like this, days like this my momma said. Well, you can’t win every game, unless of course you’re the Columbus Blue Jackets, so there’s no reason to go to the roof and jump.

Now if you feel that you can’t go on because all your hope is gone. And your life is filled with much confusion, until happiness is just an illusion. And your world around is crumbling ‘ down….Darling, reach out, come on girl, reach on out for me. Reach out, reach out for me. I’ll be there, with a love that will shelter you. I’ll be there, with a love that will see you through.

On to the game.

1) Very clever strategy by the Rangers going into this game. No need to go all out against a team as bad as Buffalo. Not with Filthy tomorrow night on the road followed by the red hot Blue Jackets. Good lord. What’s up with CBJ? I haven’t witnessed anything this blistering since Ferris Buehler’s sister sent word to their school principal, who was breaking into their home, not to bother her as she had a scorching case of herpes.

2) And it’s not that the Sabres are so bad, it’s that every other team in the Eastern Conference is so much better. Buffalo leads the East in fewest points earned and they’ve done with an incredible offense. Incredibly bad. That can’t score. Coming in they’d lost 7 of 8. After tonight make that 7 of 9. The Rangers left an odor on the ice that rivals my best laid cable. I haven’t dropped a load that stunk that bad since I drank a half gallon of sour milk 2 years ago (don’t ask).

3) Buffalo goalie Harry Nillson, sang in 1969, “Rangers aren’t shooting at me, I don’t hear a word they’re saying. Only the echoes of my mind. Those lyrics were quite profound it turns out. Harry was a great ole boy. Great singer and songwriter. He holed up John Lennon during his lost weekend in 1974. Loved Brandy Alexanders. Sidebar: One of my colleagues, now emeritus , did his undergrad at UCLA in the early-mid 1970’s  and worked part time delivering pizzas. So, one day he pulls up in front of this massive estate, think it was in Beverly Hills, knocks on the door and who should answer?  John Lennon. He invites my colleague inside and as he walks in, there’s Ringo Starr sitting in a chair. Harry Nilsson is mixing drinks, and Keith Moon was blathering on and on and on about something. Completely blown away, he could have stayed and hung out, but instead he did the one thing that made no sense at all. He walked out, jumped into his car, and sped off to deliver his next pizza to, no doubt, some stiff.

4) No one can say the Rangers weren’t ready to play. They came out energized looking to get an early jump on the Sabres right from the opening puck drop. For the paying customers, there shouldn’t have been any complaints as evidenced by the fact that it only took 10 minutes to get their first SOG. Not to be outdone, it only took another 5 minutes to get shot number two.

5) That end of the ice produced even worse results in the third. Down 4-1, the Rangers didn’t get their first SOG in the final period until 15 minutes had ticked off the clock. Impressive indeed.

6) To win consistently in the NHL, a team needs to have skill, play with passion, bring a high level of energy to the rink, have solid goaltending, and remain healthy. Tonight, no skill, no passion, no energy, poor net minding, but, no one was hurt. So there’s that.

7) Rangers couldnt make 2 passes tape to tape all night. Instead, it was tape to skate, tape to leg, tap to backside, tape to a Sabre, tape to no player from either team, tape to the boards only to be retrieved by a Sabre, tape to the end of the rink for icing, and best, tape to a fan in the crowd from their own without hitting anything on its way. Oh well, at least the fan made the save.

8) Such terrible execution. Simple things like passing the puck to a teammate should be as routine as breathing for these guys. How about making a good line change? What was Zucc doing on the Sabres’ second goal? Changing lines are supposed to be done as a unit. Zucc staying on long after THE and Step went off was bad enough, but he skated around like he didn’t have a care in the world. Taking longer to change than my morning visit to the can is not smart hockey. It’s not good hockey. It’s lazy hockey. And it led directly to a goal.

9) The first Sabres’ goal was a horrid display of defensive hockey by the boys in blue. Stepan and Shay were doing something for sure. But covering their man wasn’t one of them. As a result, THE was confused on who to cover so he did the smart thing: he didn’t mark anybody. Rangers trail 1-0. At least it wasn’t the Sabres’ first or second  shot this game that wound up in the back of the net.

10) The third Buffalo goal was a trifecta or errors by Ein Klein. Lolly gagging back to chase down a rolling puck, he then allowed E. Kane to out hustle him in making a play with the puck as it was poked off his stick to a waiting Beetle Bailey who had to pause as Klein went snow angeling by allowing Beetle Bailey to be yet another opposing player get his first NHL goal against the NYR.

11) A smart opposing strategy against the Rangers would be to call up 5 or 10 minor league players making their NHL debut and Viola, instant 5 goals. What could go wrong?

12) The Rangers were highly energized for a brief spell in the second and even scored a goal. It would be their first and last shining  moment. In the third, on the PK, was a demonstration of running around chasing the puck the way a team of 9 year old girls chase a soccer ball around the field. Like a swarm of bees hoping for a chance to dance with the Queen, if only for a second.

13) What went wrong? Playing unispired hockey certainly isn’t the fault of  AV. He lets the leadership motivate the group. Maybe the leadership’s message isn’t being heard. Maybe the leadership isn’t delivering a message. Maybe the leadership’s message is convoluted. Maybe AV needs to take out the juicy fruit and start going Knute Rockney on his team.

14) Speaking of AV and his gum chewing, does anyone else get a dose of lockjaw whenever the TV camera stays on him for a few seconds? His jaw moves up and down like a jackhammer on crack. How much does he spend on gum in a day? Want a hot stock tip that will make you richer than you’d ever imagine? Find out what brand of gum he chews and invest everything you own in that companies’ stock. The DOW is approaching 20,000 largely on the strength of AV’s molars. Buy buy buy. It’s a bull market.

15) If you can’t execute, and you play listless hockey, and you take your opponent for granted, your team will lose. And that’s what happened against the Sabres. Is it the end of the world? Of course not. Next two games are important, no doubt. This group has too much pride not to turn it around next game.

16) I fully expect a bounce back effort against the Flyers and I won’t be surprised in the least if our boys come out flying and get the two points. And now it’s on to filthy and let’s win there.

17) As there was nothing positive to take from this game, and as depressing it is to hark on all that was negative, I’ll end this review and allow your voices to be heard. Let us go forth in peace.

my three Rangers’ stars:

1. Gnash; 2. Zbinajad; 3. Buchnevich.